If You Can’t Say Something Nice…….

If You Can’t Say Something Nice…….

Why the ‘Something Nice’ quote on manners, you ask?

The Dash Kitten Crew are known to be strong on sharing, teaching, and helping our worldwide friends. So, when a trusted friend has an auction, a Kickstarter or GoFundMe appeal  – we know sharing helps. Sharing is free, easy and can help people achieve a goal – a little effort from you, a good result for them.

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”…..
According to Thumper the Rabbit in Bambi it’s what you do


A trusted friend shared shared a GoFundMe for
Kitty Cove. The folks at Kitty Cove have a dream. It is a terrific and positive dream. They want to transform a room at the Cove into a safe place for returned cats to transition back to shelter life at a time when they may be traumatised and fearful. Here’s what they say…….

Long Beach Humane Society prides ourselves in our long-standing policy of accepting back the kittens & cats we have previously adopted. In the last 6-months we have accepted over 12 adults back into Kitty Cove that were adopted out as far back as 12-years ago.

However, Kitty Cove’s compassion was not evident to one of the people who responded to a Dash Kitten Crew share on Facebook. Apparently it is wrong to propose ‘wasting money’ on giving a room a ‘makeover’ when they should be begging for food simply to feed the cats at the shelter. Say something nice was not in this person’s vocabulary.

Cat Parade of Fun

How did we cope with this negative outburst?

Mum was polite, pointing out the immense benefits to the cats returning to the rescue, asking the person to look on the positive side at the cats’ welfare and wellbeing, to no avail. What started out as an unpleasant comment risked becoming an argument which would not change the person’s attitude. In the end Mum deleted the conversation. She believed it would not help the rescue, and, unfortunately the person was not ‘listening’ to the respectful reasoning put forward.

We did some thinking, and the crew at Dash Kitten propose some ways for dealing with something you disagree with, in a polite and honest way. 

Harvey the Cat Surrounded by stars

Suggestions for disagreeing (if you can’t say something nice)!

  • You may not agree with a cause. This is fine, we can’t all agree about everything, but
  • Be respectful of the fundraiser; to someone else the cause really matters.
  • So Just Pass on by….
  • Really……..
  • You are NOT obliged to comment, or involve yourself, in any way whatsoever.

 We hope this is a help

We know, from past experience, that our readers can be truly generous, and dig deep – remember the amazing response to Bootsie? But, you can’t be expected to give away money to every share, every time someone asks. You may not believe in the cause; you may not have money available for donations. 

Hijacking an appeal or share to make a statement opposing it is both unkind and unfair. A fundraiser will be working hard to help a cause they believe in with all their heart. For Kitty Cove it was about a dream to welcome back returned cats with love and compassion:-

We want them cage-free and in a peaceful setting for them to recover from their often stressful return to us. Our sketch includes windows providing natural light, sliding doors to enclose the area, proper ventilation to ensure good health, perches, toys and of course, fluffy comfortable bedding. Kitty Cove.

So, be kind, even if a fundraiser is not one you want to help.

Dusty Cat
Senior Specialist with Something Nice to Say

Dusty our senior and most recent blogger

  1. Well said, Dusty.It makes us sad that some people just don’t think about the effects of their words, or that they choose not to think about them. We hope that Kitty Cove gets that room done.

  2. Sigh, that’s really a shame. I agree, manners are important and if you can’t donate or the cause isn’t for you, just move on. I’m sorry you had this negative exchange. Don’t let it dim your sparkle!

  3. Wonderful post and I often feel people just comment without really thinking it through and how they might be hurting someone, that is why I have got to the point where I just don’t reply as for me the silent treatment is the best treatment

  4. It baffles me at how unkind, crass, and downright mean some folks can be. There’s a lot of assholery out there, it seems. It makes me sad.

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. Wouldn’t it be nice, if folks said this instead “My ideologies don’t align with this particular cause, but I donated to x charitable cause in honor of the giving spirit fostered by your post.”

    Thanks for reminding folks about this very simple lesson, that we all were supposed to have been taught in elementary school

  5. It’s sad you had to write this post. We agree with you, some people have strong opinions, and strong words to share it, and forget that they have people and not a computer in front of them. Purrs

  6. we hope they get the room done. and we couldn’t agree more….we don’t understand how so many people on social media seem to want to waste their time and others by being negative. if you don’t agree….move on, but there is no need to be nasty

  7. If my human thinks people are getting too nasty or negative on a Facebook thread, sometimes she will just block them or hide their comment instead of deleting the whole thread. Hiding a comment on a page will make it so that nobody can see the comment except the commenters and their friends, and you no longer have to respond to it.

  8. We agree, Dusty. We know people have differing opinions…and some are very passionate about their opinions. But sometimes it’s best to state that opinion and walk away. Unfortunately, this is one of the drawbacks of social media…people can hide behind their computers when starting word wars.

  9. Wise words to live by, but unfortunately with social media, it’s all too common for people to feel the need to say something that is NOT nice… that they would otherwise never say in person.

  10. I believe it is important to address the haters, and I also believe there is a right way to do it. Sad you had to write this post, but agree with everything you say. Instead of seeing the positive – how wonderful they accept back cats and kittens, who might otherwise have been dumped in a high kill facility or tossed into a field, they choose to berate.

  11. Social media has a lot of pluses and a few minors – people perhaps unknowingly or unintentionally leaving judgmental statements are a bit off putting at a maximum, and at polarizing at a minimum. It’s always so very helpful to remember that we don’t know everyone’s story, and we don’t need to – but that we want to express the kind of caring we would like to receive. Good post – and a very helpful reminder, thank you!

  12. It’s unfortunate when one person cr … I mean, DUMPS … on another person’s dream. Those dreams are what makes this world a better place to live in for everyone … those dreams actually CHANGE the world. I’ve always loved the quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” It’s not fair to criticize those that take it to heart – even if you don’t agree with the cause.

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