If You Can’t Say Something Nice…….

Positive quote about being nice.

Why the quote on manners, you ask?

The Dash Kitten Crew are known to be strong on sharing, teaching, and helping our worldwide friends. So, when a trusted friend has an auction, a Kickstarter or GoFundMe appeal  – we know sharing helps. Sharing is free, easy and can help people achieve a goal – a little effort from you, a good result for them.

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”….. 
According to Thumper the Rabbit in Bambi it’s what you do


A trusted friend shared shared a GoFundMe for
Kitty Cove. The folks at Kitty Cove have a dream. It is a terrific and positive dream. They want to transform a room at the Cove into a safe place for returned cats to transition back to shelter life at a time when they may be traumatised and fearful. Here’s what they say…….

Long Beach Humane Society prides ourselves in our long-standing policy of accepting back the kittens & cats we have previously adopted. In the last 6-months we have accepted over 12 adults back into Kitty Cove that were adopted out as far back as 12-years ago.

However, Kitty Cove’s compassion was not evident to one of the people who responded to a Dash Kitten Crew share on Facebook. Apparently it is wrong to propose ‘wasting money’ on giving a room a ‘makeover’ when they should be begging for food simply to feed the cats at the shelter. Say something nice was not in this person’s vocabulary.

How did we cope with this negative outburst?

Mum was polite, pointing out the immense benefits to the cats returning to the rescue, asking the person to look on the positive side at the cats’ welfare and wellbeing, to no avail. What started out as an unpleasant comment risked becoming an argument which would not change the person’s attitude. In the end Mum deleted the conversation. She believed it would not help the rescue, and, unfortunately the person was not ‘listening’ to the respectful reasoning put forward.

We did some thinking, and the crew at Dash Kitten propose some ways for dealing with something you disagree with, in a polite and honest way. 

Suggestions for disagreeing (if you can’t say something nice)!

  • You may not agree with a cause. This is fine, we can’t all agree about everything, but
  • Be respectful of the fundraiser; to someone else the cause really matters.
  • So Just Pass on by….
  • Really……..
  • You are NOT obliged to comment, or involve yourself, in any way whatsoever.

online friends Quote Graphic of Wisdom of Friendship

We hope this is a help

We know, from past experience, that our readers can be truly generous, and dig deep – remember the amazing response to Bootsie? But, you can’t be expected to give away money to every share, every time someone asks. You may not believe in the cause; you may not have money available for donations. 

Hijacking an appeal or share to make a statement opposing it is both unkind and unfair. A fundraiser will be working hard to help a cause they believe in with all their heart. For Kitty Cove it was about a dream to welcome back returned cats with love and compassion:-

We want them cage-free and in a peaceful setting for them to recover from their often stressful return to us. Our sketch includes windows providing natural light, sliding doors to enclose the area, proper ventilation to ensure good health, perches, toys and of course, fluffy comfortable bedding. Kitty Cove.

So, be kind, even if a fundraiser is not one you want to help.

Dusty Cat
Senior Specialist with Something Nice to Say

Dusty our senior and most recent blogger

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26 thoughts on “If You Can’t Say Something Nice…….

  1. Hairballs and Hissyfits

    We totally agree! Good luck with fundraiser!

    Reply

  2. meowmeowmans

    Well said, Dusty.It makes us sad that some people just don’t think about the effects of their words, or that they choose not to think about them. We hope that Kitty Cove gets that room done.

    Reply

  3. Brian Frum

    I couldn’t agree more!!!!!!

    Reply

  4. The Daily Pip

    Sigh, that’s really a shame. I agree, manners are important and if you can’t donate or the cause isn’t for you, just move on. I’m sorry you had this negative exchange. Don’t let it dim your sparkle!

    Reply

  5. Tenacious Little Terrier

    I agree. Especially when it comes to fundraisers when people are presumably stressed about the need for money.

    Reply

  6. Dusty Desert Dogs

    ahh wise words of Thumper! Great post!

    Reply

  7. Sweet Purrfections

    We believe in this completely. There are so many times it’s tempting to say something “not so nice” when you disagree, but it’s better to just leave it alone.

    Reply

  8. Ruth Epstein

    Wonderful post and I often feel people just comment without really thinking it through and how they might be hurting someone, that is why I have got to the point where I just don’t reply as for me the silent treatment is the best treatment

    Reply

  9. Beth Patterson

    Very well said! What a shame that the person who commented didn’t take the time to understand your position.

    Reply

  10. Kandace

    Social media can be so mean and rude. And I could not agree with your post more! Thumper’s song is pretty spot on too 😉

    Reply

  11. Bryn Nowell

    It baffles me at how unkind, crass, and downright mean some folks can be. There’s a lot of assholery out there, it seems. It makes me sad.

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. Wouldn’t it be nice, if folks said this instead “My ideologies don’t align with this particular cause, but I donated to x charitable cause in honor of the giving spirit fostered by your post.”

    Thanks for reminding folks about this very simple lesson, that we all were supposed to have been taught in elementary school

    Reply

  12. Joely Smith

    Very well stated! I have no idea why people feel the MUST comment when they do not have a good VALID point or can’t be positive.

    Reply

  13. Amy Shojai

    Well said…and some folks either forget their manners or never had them. *sigh*

    Reply

  14. Dolly the Doxie

    Social media is to blame for so much rudeness, people think they can say anything they want. The best thing is to ignore it and move one.

    Reply

  15. The Swiss Cats

    It’s sad you had to write this post. We agree with you, some people have strong opinions, and strong words to share it, and forget that they have people and not a computer in front of them. Purrs

    Reply

  16. Random Felines

    we hope they get the room done. and we couldn’t agree more….we don’t understand how so many people on social media seem to want to waste their time and others by being negative. if you don’t agree….move on, but there is no need to be nasty

    Reply

  17. Summer

    If my human thinks people are getting too nasty or negative on a Facebook thread, sometimes she will just block them or hide their comment instead of deleting the whole thread. Hiding a comment on a page will make it so that nobody can see the comment except the commenters and their friends, and you no longer have to respond to it.

    Reply

  18. The Island Cats

    We agree, Dusty. We know people have differing opinions…and some are very passionate about their opinions. But sometimes it’s best to state that opinion and walk away. Unfortunately, this is one of the drawbacks of social media…people can hide behind their computers when starting word wars.

    Reply

  19. Lola The Rescued Cat

    We like this post. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes they forget to be nice people can disagree politely

    Reply

  20. nichole

    Wise words to live by, but unfortunately with social media, it’s all too common for people to feel the need to say something that is NOT nice… that they would otherwise never say in person.

    Reply

  21. Hindy Pearson

    I believe it is important to address the haters, and I also believe there is a right way to do it. Sad you had to write this post, but agree with everything you say. Instead of seeing the positive – how wonderful they accept back cats and kittens, who might otherwise have been dumped in a high kill facility or tossed into a field, they choose to berate.

    Reply

  22. Rebecca at MattieDog

    Social media has a lot of pluses and a few minors – people perhaps unknowingly or unintentionally leaving judgmental statements are a bit off putting at a maximum, and at polarizing at a minimum. It’s always so very helpful to remember that we don’t know everyone’s story, and we don’t need to – but that we want to express the kind of caring we would like to receive. Good post – and a very helpful reminder, thank you!

    Reply

  23. Erin the Cat (Princess)

    100% behind what you have said, if you cant be positive or helpful, leave it be, move on. heck the world is a sour enough place without added vitriol.

    Reply

  24. mommakatandherbearcat

    It’s unfortunate when one person cr … I mean, DUMPS … on another person’s dream. Those dreams are what makes this world a better place to live in for everyone … those dreams actually CHANGE the world. I’ve always loved the quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” It’s not fair to criticize those that take it to heart – even if you don’t agree with the cause.

    Reply

  25. Thomas Archer

    Absolutely couldn’t agree with you more, Dusty. Well said.

    Reply

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